You were there again.
I woke up uneasy
Haze slowly focusing to my ceiling
I realized it was you again
The dream rushing and tackling my senses
I breathe heavier thinking about our last encounter
You were a shell of yourself
Speaking words that had to travel across oceans by the time they reached me
Stale, motionless, dry, crumbling
Creating dustclouds for me to inhale
Cracked my heart and let it fly into the wind
I had forgotten your ability to bend love and steal moments
You have learned nothing
Let your heart fester with walls and chains
building yourself into another girl's arms
Making old revelations with new kisses
Devising new ways to play cat's cradle with our memories
Hiding behind your facade of invulnerability
You are broken, babygirl
Chipped, fragmented, messy
Weaving your pain under mine
Tell me the truth
Do you still love me?
I see it between the lines of your hesitancy and bravado
Stop pretending we only existed between time
We were real
even with our heavy hearts
We tried to harness moonshines to light our path
Kept swords under our pillows to battle night demons
Built fire between 500 miles that consumed us
Loved each other so fierce that the sun was jealous of our light
Do you remember?
I have suffered breakups that defy linearity
Hearts torn and built back up to be torn again
It's not only the night demons you need to battle
Love yourself to see the ones haunting you during the day
Eating your heart, turning you into another sad heartbreak statistic
I will consume the rest of this hollowness
Rest in pieces until I am ready to forge a new self
One in which I honor us and love myself
Find strength in my pain, using it to grab constellations
that leads back to my core.
15 years ago

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