30/30 - #7

Late!!

Hands slide between thighs
hungering embraces and inhaling desire
All fantasies on the other side
Desperately seeking back the road to you
lead it to my heart and open it again
flush out the baggage and boxes
wipe down all the dust that causes me allergies
and let the sun in and burn all darkness away

It's hard to find me
when I get lost like this
In between daydreams of whatifs, lip selections,
bright eyes, and slender fingers.

I'm trying to run back to you but
it seems that my heart has been captivated
and requires some time and effort to be released
Love isn't always fuller on the other side...

Maybe, I need some time alone
to sort out captivations
label indecisions
and harbor sureness.

30/30 - #6

A butterfly once told me that she could make dinosaurs reappear and then go extinct again with the flap of her tinged wings. She once told me the Universe sent her to fly across faces to remind them of their existence... and hers. She whispered light butterfly secrets into my crackling ears beating on broken drums. Her wings kissed my face as she disappeared into the sun.

My mom once told me she wished to come back as a butterfly in her next life. I asked her why and she got poetic on me. She told me she wanted to exist in a moment of transformation, fly into beauty, and die with quick grace. My eyes swallowed her words along with her soul. It reached down deep inside me, pulling out any doubts I had about her butterfly dreams.

I once dreamt that I crashed my car into a hill and flew into the sky and landed on a shiny saucer. I witnessed infinite earth soaked with light. I shot into the sky and did 360s, witnessing infinite blue meeting infinite brown all coated with infinite light.

They say all things are connected. What if souls attach themselves to butterflies as they flutter in between flowers and faces, ending up soaked with too much sun and absorbed back into the earth? Life would be a series of budding transformations and sunlit tumbles of grace.

30/30 - #5

Battles across miles
You becoming a fireball
Me knocked down, burning.

30/30 - #4

I hear her yelling
spitting frustration out
caused by too much pills
her head splitting open next to her shriveled kidneys
and her heart long lost in the Pacific
from the streets of Chợ Lớn to the paved ones of California urban suburbia

She cleans dog hair out of dirty dog blankets
as she chastises
and chastises
and chastises
and chastises
and yells
and yells
and yells
with all her energy
her pain
her tears
her chronic splinters
her undying love contradictions
so I can finally hear her

But I don't.
All I hear are pins thrown at my cushioned heart
Sucking it in and if I move it might pierce deeper
So I stop moving.
I stop listening.
I walk away pin-full.

30/30 - #3

LATE POST. Blame it on being at my parent's house.

I felt it last night.
Felt the waves of light course through my skin
leaving it tingling

I saw you with swords
cutting up snakes poking out of holes
I thought of your success

I sent you my love and wings
and hoped both guided you back
to rest
and to me.

30/30 - #2

My stomach has devoured my heart
kept it hostage at the gut level
and squeezing it tightly with the occasional acid coating

My breathing is too shallow for freshness to reach my heart
so I gulp air like fish gulp for water on the chopping block
Hoping hiccups will bring back my heart to an even keel

How do you ever heal broken hearts?
Maybe, it's haphazardly jammed with repression and amnesia
or maybe, time layers it so thick it suffocates
or maybe, we just never forget and own many hearts
so we keep each broken one in jars
labeled with times and dates of injury leading to
punctures, ruptures, splintered, disjointed,
love fragmentations

I keep my jars on a mahogany shelf
Polish it with nostalgia
I kept your jar open though
because I'm still trying to glue it back
replacing doubt with sunset drives
renewing smiles with kisses
remembering close tenderness instead of hazy fight tones
I'll keep it open until it expires
until it evaporates into love essence heaven
until I can regurgitate my heart back onto my sleeve.

30/30 - #1

I think I'm going crazy.
Nighttime bugs chitchat breaks into my heart
Reminding me of loving smiles and smiling eyes
down chasms that widen each time I breathe.

I wake up hazy,
trying to glue sticky heart pieces back together
with long-gone kisses and distant sunshine.